Putting Your Emotions On Hold Is A Way To Allow You To Listen Better. (2023)

1. How Accepting Emotions Can Improve Emotional Health - Verywell Mind

  • Apr 4, 2022 · An alternative to pushing away or stifling your emotions is learning to accept your emotional experiences. This is known as emotional acceptance ...

  • Practicing accepting emotions can lead to better emotional health. Learn more about why people push feelings away and the benefits of accepting them.

2. How to Become a Better Listener - Harvard Business Review

  • Dec 21, 2021 · Becoming a Better Listener · 1. Repeat people's last few words back to them. · 2. Don't “put it in your own words” unless you need to. · 3. Offer ...

  • Listening is a skill that’s vitally important, sadly undertaught, and physically and mentally taxing. In the aftermath of Covid-19, particularly with the shift to remote work and the red-hot job market, it’s never been more important — or more difficult — for leaders to be good listeners. This article offers nine tips to help leaders become more active listeners, and a breakdown of the subskills involved in listening and how you can improve in them.

3. Active Listening: The Art of Empathetic Conversation - Positive Psychology

  • Jul 21, 2016 · Simply put, empathic listening involves reflecting back the emotions we hear; for example, “You sound angry and upset.” It shows understanding, ...

  • Active & empathetic listening is vital in forming & maintaining relationships.

4. How to Listen Without Getting Defensive - The Gottman Institute

  • Slowing down and taking deep breaths is a great way to self-soothe. Focus on relaxing your body. Sometimes doodling helps. When you do this, don't get lost in ...

  • Here's the key to listening non-defensively.

5. Validation: Show you're listening—even if you disagree | HPRC

  • Sep 6, 2022 · Pay attention to what the other person is saying, avoid distractions (including your own emotions), and don't judge. An easy first step to show ...

  • Validation is a communication skill that can help both parties in a conversation feel heard and understood. Validation shows that you are truly listening to understand the other person’s feelings and point of view, even if you disagree. Your relationships will benefit when you communicate that you are validating the other person’s viewpoint. What is validation? Validation is a response that shows you accept and respect another person’s feelings and point of view, even when you don’t agree with them. It means answering in a way that shows the other person you believe their experience or statement is valid, and you don’t intend to change their view or correct them for being “wrong.” But validation goes beyond simply listening. It’s about showing you really hear someone and understand why they feel the way they do. Why validation matters Validation is particularly important during emotionally charged situations. It can be really hard to listen and respond to someone in an understanding way when you’re upset or your experience differs from theirs. An empathetic, nonjudgmental response can reduce how often and how severe conflict is when it surfaces, which can help you improve your relationships. People who use validation in their relationships feel more supported, more satisfied, and less stressed. On the other hand, responses that are dismissive, defensive, or rejecting tend to escalate arguments and lead to misunderstandings, and they can make you or the other person feel unimportant, angry, or ignored. Communicating validation is easier said than done. But as with any communication skill, you can get better at validating by practicing. What validation sounds like You can show people you hear them and accept their feelings, ideas, actions, and goals in many ways. For example, you show up late for a dinner meeting. Even if you believe you’re late for a good reason, you can state the facts of the situation (“I know I arrived 10 minutes late for dinner”) or recognize the other person’s feelings (“I get that you’re frustrated with me for arriving later than you expected”). It’s true: You might need to put aside your defensive feelings temporarily and focus on the other person’s feelings to give a validating response. But when both parties are able to validate each other’s perspective and find common ground, then both sides will feel heard, understood, and more willing to move on. A great way to start practicing validation is to use some of these verbal techniques: Reflection. Show you’re listening by repeating what you heard the other person say. Use descriptive language, such as “I hear you. You’re upset because it seems I wasn’t mindful of the time” rather than judgmental language. Seek clarification. Ask questions to make sure you’re hearing what the other person intended. For example, “So you feel that my showing up late is disrespectful of your time, right?” This can also help you both get better at expressing your thoughts and emotions clearly. Normalize. Communicate that what the other person is feeling makes sense based on their experience or perspective—and that others in their situation might feel similarly. For example, “I can empathize that you feel neglected because I showed up late. I can see how being left alone for longer than you expected might make you feel abandoned.” What validation looks like Another important way to practice validation involves the nonverbal signals you send: Mindful listening. Pay attention to what the other person is saying, avoid distractions (including your own emotions), and don’t judge. An easy first step to show mindful listening is to put away your phone. Be aware of your facial expressions. Are you making eye contact? Avoid rolling your eyes or looking away. Are you frowning or laughing? What’s appropriate for the situation? Think about your physical gestures. Does your body language suggest you’re listening, or are your arms crossed or your hands on your hips? If you’re talking to your spouse or partner, you might want to reach out and hold hands while you speak or offer a hug if they seem upset. Demonstrate validating actions. When you know your partner is stressed, you might bring home their favorite take-out or do extra chores around the house. Or if a coworker is having a hard time, you could offer to go for a walk or get lunch with them. Bottom line It takes practice to respond to those around you in a way that shows you understand and accept their feelings and experiences, even if you don’t agree. Try to keep an open mind, and hone your skills by asking for feedback from others. By building your validation skills, you can have positive impacts on almost any relationship. Explore these other HPRC resources to help improve your communication skills and strengthen relationships: Active Constructive Responding (ACR) Worksheet Communication under stress 3 sneaky relationship-damaging habits to avoid |Validation: Show you’re listening—even if you disagree

6. How to Improve Your Empathic Listening Skills: 7 Techniques

7. Controlling your Emotions - The Conover Company

  • Apr 20, 2021 · This will prevent the person you're talking to from getting upset and will result in a calm conversation. Think before you speak or act.

  • You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. - Brian Tracy Do you ever think about attitude? How did you learn to control

8. If you use these 13 phrases every day, you have high emotional ...

  • Missing: hold | Show results with:hold

  • Being able to emotionally connect with people is a rare and valuable skill. Here are the phrases that people with high emotional intelligence use every day, according to psychology experts.

9. 5 ways to gain control over your emotions | FIU News

  • Nov 13, 2020 · Pause. Before you start repressing those feelings and wishing they'd go away, remember that all feelings are meant to be felt. Feelings ...

  • The last several months have been exhausting. Try these techniques to help keep your emotions in check.

10. How to Improve Your Relationships Through Mindful Active Listening

  • Dec 27, 2019 · Part of being a good listener is your ability to be present to hear what others have to say. So stop phubbing and put your phone away! You need ...

  • Still your mind to be a better listener

11. Emotional Intelligence Toolkit - HelpGuide.org

  • Mar 3, 2023 · As you develop the capacity to better recognize and understand your own emotions, you'll find it easier to appreciate how others are feeling ...

  • Use these tools to keep stress and emotions in check, improve how you communicate with others, and bring your life into balance.

12. Control anger before it controls you - American Psychological Association

  • Mar 3, 2022 · Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking ...

  • Anger is a normal, healthy response to a threat and may be used for a constructive purpose. When anger becomes uncontrollable or is unexpressed, it may lead to destructive thoughts or actions. Learn how to control it.

13. Nonverbal Communication and Body Language - HelpGuide.org

  • Aug 14, 2023 · When you're stressed out, you're more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy ...

  • Learn how to understand and use body language in ways that build better relationships at home and work.

14. Active Listening: Using Listening Skills to Coach Others | CCL

  • Even when good listeners have strong views, they suspend judgment, hold any criticisms, and avoid interruptions like arguing or selling their point right away.

  • Turn casual conversations into coaching opportunities when you practice these 6 active listening skills and techniques.

15. Helpful vs Harmful: Ways to Manage Emotions | Mental Health America

  • Vent. Venting is not the same as asking for help, it's taking an opportunity to share your feelings out loud. We do this naturally when we talk with someone ...

  • Negative emotions like fear, sadness, and anger are a basic part of life and sometimes we struggle with how to deal with them effectively. It can be tempting to act on what you’re feeling right away, but that often doesn’t fix the situation that caused the emotions. In fact, it may lead to more problems to deal with down the road.

16. Emotional Wellness Toolkit | National Institutes of Health (NIH)

  • How you react to your experiences and feelings can change over time. ... Be aware of taste, textures, and flavors in each bite, and listen to your body when you ...

  • Find out how to successfully handle life’s stresses and adapt to change and difficult times.

17. Ignoring Your Emotions Is Bad for Your Health. Here's What to Do ...

  • Feb 27, 2018 · Most people are ruled by their emotions. But once you realize the power of feelings and emotions, simply acknowledging your own can help.

  • Here's what to do about it

18. 5 Ways to Be a Good Listener for Your Spouse - SYMBIS Assessment

  • Oct 25, 2017 · 1. Listen with empathy. When you practice empathy, you're putting yourself in your spouse's shoes and seeing things through their eyes. Whether ...

  • To have a thriving marriage, it’s critical to truly listen with empathy and generosity. Today, we’re sharing 5 ways you can be a good listener.

19. How and When to Start a Conversation with a Struggling Friend

  • So listening to how they feel is as important as listening to the specific events that drive their feelings. Be patient. They may not be ready to tell you ...

  • If you’ve noticed that your friend has been struggling, it can be difficult to start the conversation. Use these tips to talk to your struggling friend.

20. Dealing With Difficult Emotions (for Teens) - Nemours KidsHealth

  • Think about the best way to express your emotion. Do you need to gently confront someone else? Talk things over with a friend? Or work off the feeling by going ...

  • Negative emotions are impossible to avoid and everyone feels them from time to time. They may be difficult, but they don't have to be stressful. Find out how to deal with stressful feelings.

21. How Music Affects Your Mind, Mood and Body

  • Dec 2, 2022 · If you want to listen to a song that you pair with anger or sadness, go ahead, but don't let it repeat too many times. Move on to music of the ...

  • Do you find yourself tapping your foot while shopping? Or having all the feels while watching movies? No matter your race, ethnicity, age or gender, music is a common phenomenon that impacts everyone. Music can be a powerful tool with its ability to evoke strong emotional responses.

22. Why Talking About Our Problems Helps So Much (and How to Do It)

  • Apr 3, 2020 · The study argues that holding back thoughts and emotions is stressful. You have the negative feelings either way, but you have to work to ...

  • There’s more to the age-old advice to just “talk it out” than there seems. Here’s some of the evidence that explains why it is so helpful.

23. How to Be More Empathetic - The New York Times

  • Read Books. Reading is one of the best ways to open your mind to the experiences of others.

  • Originally published on Dec. 1, 2018

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